One of the toughest things in teaching is having tough conversations. Even now, I still feel a bit of fear about it, but I've improved a lot! When I worked as a paraprofessional and a soccer coach, I had an excellent mentor who taught me a method for handling these situations—it's called the 'Open the Front Door' method.
Open the Front Door to Positive Communication provides a solution for addressing conflicts without causing discomfort or defensiveness. This four-step tool—Observation, Thoughts, Feelings, Desire (OTFD)—helps us navigate conflicts calmly and respectfully.
Firstly, we neutrally state the situation as an observation without judgment. Then, using 'I' statements, we share our thoughts and feelings about the issue. This approach allows for a clearer, more constructive conversation.
OTFD allows us to address misunderstandings promptly, starting with a factual basis and progressing through thoughts, feelings, and desired outcomes. Studies show that this structured approach reduces emotional tension, making it easier for both parties to understand and be heard.
Furthermore, beyond conflict resolution, OTFD aids in positive acknowledgments. For instance, expressing gratitude or appreciation in a clear and constructive manner can enhance relationships. This method fosters better communication without the sense of a personal attack, ultimately helping relationships grow positively.
I copied and pasted a great example and put the link on this site.
In the first step, observation, we tell the other person what happened in a factual, objective, fly-on-the-wall way in order to get both people started on the same page. For example, We were supposed to meet for lunch at noon, and it’s now 12:45. This is a statement of fact, not a judgment or conclusion—merely data.
Next we share our thoughts about what occurred. Using “I” statements we tell the person our thoughts or opinions about what occurred. I’m wondering what happened, and why you didn’t let me know you were going to be late.
Then we share our feelings, also using “I” statements. I’m feeling frustrated and a little hurt that you didn’t care enough to let me know you were going to be late.
Finally, sharing our desire allows us to express the outcome we’d like to see from this conversation. In the future I’d like you to let me know in advance if you’re going to be late.